YOU shall teach

This morning during my coffee with the King I read this verse in Deuteronomy (Deut. 6:7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. It reminded me that it is MY job to teach my children the Word of God and His laws. It is not the church’s responsibility. Church is a tool I can use to help my kids and myself learn more but it is ultimately up to me. How often have we thought that if we send our kids to church, they will learn what they need, and be fine but if we aren’t living a life for Christ outside of church, what good is it? Lord, help me to teach my children how to walk with you.

Preparing My Children to Fly

My oldest is going to be 17 in November and it has hit me that in a little over a year, she will be an adult…old enough to vote, join the military, and leave home if she chooses.  It makes me think about where I was at her age.  I don’t think she is as independent as I was but that’s ok.  I may have been too independent actually because I didn’t think I needed anyone, even God, when I was 18.  I actually remember when I was a newly married 19 year old and my father in law told my husband that I was “just too independent.”  Bull headed was more like it.  I have always been strong willed…
I have been thinking a lot about whether or not I am doing an effective job teaching my children…not just academically but other things to help them be successful in life.   I jumped around to 10 different schools when I was growing up, some private, some public so I had a chance to get lots of academics but what about “life skills”? In school, I learned that football players were mean to us band kids…I still have emotional scars from one jock in particular.  I have forgiven him in my heart but I wonder if he even knows, or cares, how much he hurt me emotionally.  I learned also that there is still smoking in the bathroom, sex under the bleachers and parties with alcohol even at private school…yet, even in college, some of the students I was in A &P lab with said I was “sheltered” because I had never tried pot…wow! I never had a desire to, not that I wasn’t offered it.
As far as academics, my students may not be at the highest level possible or make the best scores on standardized tests but does that really matter?  What I learned in school,  my GPA, my “honors” classes, my ACT & SAT scores…do they really matter? I don’t even remember what they were honestly! Am I successful in life?  I think so.  No, I am not doing what I thought I would be doing now ( I was going to be a nurse practioner) but that doesn’t mean I have failed! My life changed course and I followed God’s plan.  I am happily married to my best friend and together we are raising three amazing kids who we don’t want to force into college or careers that are not part of God’s plan for them.  If my daughter truly wants to hold off on college and to be a childcare provider right out of high school, so be it!  I have taken college courses throughout my adult life and one of these days, I may finally get my degree…she can do that too if she wants.
My point is this, I am sure my parents had dreams of what I would be when I grew up and what my life would be like.  I am pretty certain that I am not living the life they dreamed of for me BUT I don’t think they aren’t disappointed in me.  They knew that I couldn’t live THEIR dreams…I had to live my own.  My kids can’t live MY dreams.  I can guide them in the best way I know how but in the end, their life is theirs to live.  My mom wasn’t crazy about the fact that I was getting married at 19 but she didn’t try to stop me or manipulate me.  She allowed me to make my own choice.  That is the way I hope to be when the time comes for me to release my children…knowing that I have done everything possible to teach them how to live and feeling confident that they can do it.
My friend, Vicki told me a story once about how the momma eagle starts to make the nest less comfortable for her babies so that her offspring will realize that it is time to go. She said we needed to do the same thing. Our little baby birds will grow up and they need to go out and fly on their own…have their own families. If we are not allowing them, we are hindering them and are not following God’s plan for families. Ready or not…I would rather they be ready…wouldn’t you?

Facebook Tips for Parents

I would love for you to share this with your friends but please do so by sharing the link. Do not copy and paste MY content onto your site without giving me credit with a link. That is considered stealing and is wrong.

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I don’t claim to be an expert on Facebook or on being a parent but I do know a bit about both so I wanted to share some tips with those of you who are parents who do have kids on Facebook.

First of all, one of my biggest concerns is children who have accounts who are not 13. According to Consumer Reports, 7.5 million users are under the minimum age requirement. Do you know that these rules are there for a reason…because Facebook has to comply with the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act.  Currently, Mark Zuckerberg is working to be able to permit those under 13 to get Facebook pages but until that changes, these kids, and sometimes their parents, are lying to obtain accounts. If you allow your children to lie to get a page, what are you teaching them??  Oh, it’s just a “little lie” right?  Will it be ok when they lie about their age to get into an R rated movie, a dance club, a bar,buy cigarettes or beer???  Just think about that for a minute.

Know their password.  I can hear some of you know.  “Why do I need to know their PRIVATE password?”  Uh, well because YOU are their parent and you have a right to keep them safe by being able to sign in to their account any time you want to see who their friends are and remove those friends that you don’t think your child should have, like the 30 year old man than your 16 daughter doesn’t even know but added him because they have 5 mutual friends.  Oh and yes, it is ok to read their private messages too. Again, it is YOUR job to protect your children and you need to know if someone is contacting your child through private messages that has no business doing so.

Subscribe to their status.  When you are signed in to your account, go to Account Settings and then click on Mobile.  Set your phone up for text messages.  After you do this, you will have a screen where you can choose who you want to receive status updates from. Start typing your child’s name in the box and click on it when you see it. Now whenever your child updates their status, you will receive a text. Why is this important?  Because, our kids don’t always think before they post and since they can text their status from their phone (if they have texting, which most teens do), they might post something that you need to see.  For example, one night my husband and I were away from home and I received a text.  It was my teen daughter’s status saying she was scared because she was home alone and it was about to storm.  I called her immediately and told her to remove it!  Even though we have her privacy settings set to only friends can see her status, I still don’t want people knowing when my kids are home alone.

Do not allow them to post ANY pictures unless you approve them first.  They take their cute little photos and don’t really understand that the pose or expression they have can be seen as provocative or inappropriate and can follow them for the rest of their life. Their pictures can also lead criminals right to your child by landmarks, license plate numbers, etc. When you look at the picture, you see with a parent’s point of view and can point out why the picture may not be the best choice for them to share with the entire world.  EVEN IF YOUR CHILD HAS A PRIVATE PAGE, THEIR UPLOADED PICS CAN BE DOWNLOADED AND POSTED BY OTHER PEOPLE!!!

With EVERYONE having cameras on their cell phones now, there may be times when pictures of your children are posted by others…teach your children to always be careful of their actions because the chances of their activity being posted and something they think is harmless can really come back to haunt them in the future.  Tell them to ask themselves if what they are doing would get them in trouble with their parents or grandparents…if so then don’t do it because chances are, you are going to see it anyway and then they really will get in trouble.   Even if they aren’t concerned about getting in trouble with you, their photos and activities CAN affect their future education or jobs.  70% of college admissions offices use Facebook to screen their applicants!

Speaking of camera phones, check your child’s phone settings to make sure that when they upload pics, it isn’t showing their location.  Many of the smart phones do that now.  I uploaded a picture to Twitter one day and when I went back to look at it, it had posted my HOME ADDRESS as the location!  I certainly didn’t like that.

Another thought on location.  Now that people can “check in” on Facebook and tag who they are with, your child and your home become more vulnerable to people who want to do harm.  This site has screen shots with step by step instructions on how to disable Facebook Places and keep people from checking your child in.

I have talked to some of the teens I work with at church and told them about this article that I was writing.  Some of them actually told me that they hope their parents don’t read it.  What does that tell ya?  Parents,  you need to be aware.  I hope this helped you learn a little bit and will open up the door to communicating with your child about Facebook.

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PopATot

While wandering around at the Southern Women’s Show in Memphis, I came across a vendor selling something that I wish I had thought of years ago…like 16 years ago!  This is PopATot.

As you can see, it has the same concept as those folding camping/sports chairs that you can put in a bag and carry around.  I saw it and wanted one!  Ok, so I didn’t buy it because I don’t have any little ones!  I do think it would be a great baby shower gift and would be PERFECT for daycare providers!  So much easier to store and clean than the bulky walkers and those bouncy play center stand things.

They also have it available in cute designs:

If you are an active family with a wee one, I highly recommend this product!  Go order yours today!

Around the Kitchen Table

I am sure you have heard before that the kitchen is the center of the home. I know at my house, this is definitely true. So much happens in this one room. Some obvious kitchen activities are cooking & eating. We also do school work, crafts, play board games and more in there.

One of the things I am adamant about is having meals together at the kitchen table. Research has shown all kinds of benefits from families enjoying their meals together such as better grades in school, fewer eating disorders, children develop larger vocabularies, and closer relationships between parents and children. Yeah, these facts are definitely reasons that I am so serious about our family meals.
Tonight after dinner, the kids and I were still sitting at the table together just talking and we started laughing about the conversations that we have. I sat there and watched my children being silly and thought about how much I would miss this if we were all eating in separate rooms in front of TVs. These are special times!
I am so blessed that my children enjoy spending time with their family. I encourage you, if you are not already enjoying family meals together, please do it! Turn the TV off, put your cell phones and hand held games away and actually carry on a conversation while you eat. You just might learn something about the people you live with.